Elysium Hope - Feature Friday

Featuring Marilyn Gomez

2020-03-13T00:26:00-06:00

I was 26 years old and a newlywed, when my husband and I started trying to have a family. I envisioned having a large family. Two girls and a boy to be exact (I mean if I could control it, that’s what I would handpick). The story I painted in my head consisted of chaotic mornings gathering the children to go to school, switching off with my husband to take the kids to soccer practice on the weekends, afternoons with homework and papers spread across the dining room table, and movie nights all piled in our bedroom with three curly headed kiddos snuggling in between us.

The light, that vision began to get dimmer, and dimmer, and dimmer, as time went on and reality started to settle in. That I was experiencing Infertility.

One year after we started trying, I finally consulted with my OBGYN. She started me off on Clomid. It didn’t work. I was on Clomid for MONTHS, until I realized I needed to take it a step further and seek a Reproductive Endocrinologist.

My RE tested, analyzed, month after month and came short of an explanation for my Infertility when finally I was diagnosed with “Unexplained Infertility"

Unexplained Infertility. The diagnosis with no plan. This would hover over everything I’d for years. I will spare you the details about multiple miscarriages after each IVF, about the depression and emptiness, loss and inability to conceive felt like. Most likely you’ve experienced it, or someone you love. This story is beyond the process and the debilitating emotional and crippling pain each month with empty arms brought me. Because I did end up with my miracle. IVF #3, was successful. Throughout the process of experiencing Infertility, I actively engaged in therapy. I was a regular participant in an Infertility based group therapy. That was the best gift I could give myself. I started to heal. To regain control, reclaim my power. I was no longer defining myself as “I AM Infertile”, because that is NOT who I am, but rather, “I am experiencing Infertility”. It was empowering to start putting my broken pieces back together. I was this grittier, braver, bolder woman, that despite the brokenness fought to put herself together.

In 2019, we made the decision to transfer our two remaining frozen embryos. I felt ready and equipped for either outcome. I had tools in my arsenal, mantras, community support, and a new mindset. So when IVF #4 failed. I was faced with a choice. Do I keep trying to fulfill my vision, my dream of having 3 children, or is it time for me to say “you fought a good fight sis, it is time to release it”. I chose the latter. The truth is, yes, I do have another 10 years in me to try and try and try, but do I want to be in a battalion again. No. Am I capable of reprogramming my dreams and redesigning a new vision. Yes.

So here I am today in 2020, maximizing each day with my ONE child. THE ONE. MY ONLY. And although every now and then I get slight pangs in my chest of adding another again, I no longer yearn for it. I openly and proudly embrace my ONE. It was always supposed to be her and only her. I have my power again. I am free of the weight Infertility caused, and now I can stand whole and present with my miracle.

The advice I would give any couple facing infertility is finding a therapist that specializes in Infertility support, leaning into a community of people with the same struggles, and finding healing through gratitude and staying present.

Featuring Courtney & Brittany

2020-02-28T13:51:00-07:00

My name is Courtney and my story is a little bit different than what we normally see here on delphineday. I grew up playing soccer and basically living on the field with my team who turned into some of my closest friends. Four of us became our own little team/family/best friend group and spent as much time together as possible. One of these girls was my dear friend, Brittany. Brittany was the one of the most down to Earth, kind, selfless individuals you'd ever meet in this life. After many years of friendship and growing up together, we each moved on to different things. I was serving a mission for my church and she was playing college soccer in Nebraska. While at school, Brittany felt like she needed to serve a mission and put in her paperwork. I remember the day she emailed me and told me she would be serving the people of Resistencia, Argentina and how excited she was! I came home from my mission in July and Brittany left in August. That month that we had together will always be one of the biggest tender mercies in my life.

Around the second week of March 2015, we heard that Brittany was sick in Argentina. From what we understood, she had gotten food poisoning which turned into e. Coli. I remember spending those first few days rereading our emails back and forth to see if she had mentioned anything about being sick. Nothing. On March 11th, I was sitting in my room at the home of a family I was nannying, an hour away from any friends or family, when I got a GoFundMe notification that Brittany had passed away in Argentina. They had transported her to Buenos Aires where she went into cardiac arrest and didn't come back.

I remember dropping to the ground, crying and not knowing what to do. I had family come and get me and spent the next week with friends, family, and Brittany's family. The next two weeks included flying her body home to Utah, her birthday, and her funeral.

What has helped me most through this time is sharing stories about Brittany and being able to help others who lose a loved one. You are never prepared for all of the emotions that you will go through, but having someone hold your hand through it makes a world of difference.

My advice to someone who has lost a friend or loved one in an unexpected way is that it's okay to feel sad. It's okay to hurt and to miss them. Just make sure you communicate

our feelings and get help if you need it. I went to therapy after Brittany had passed and I know that it helped me to come back to reality and take my next step forward. Remember that every day with those we love is a blessing. Make sure they are aware of your love for them and that you are grateful for their presence in your life.

Featuring Madison Carrasco

2019-12-20T21:07:00-07:00

Madison lost both of her parents. She is an amazing example to me of strength and perseverance. Her words are heart wrenching. She is so supportive of our business, and we love that we could make a necklace that has so much meaning to her. ⁣
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“When my mom died in a car accident in 2017 I went to a dark place. I had been through this already when my dad died of a stroke in 2010 but this time my faith was faltering and I was flat out furious with God for doing this to me again. I was also pregnant with my third child so hormones made grief even uglier. I couldn’t pray, when I would kneel and open my mouth I only wanted to scream. Instead of praying, the best I could do was sing, alone in my car, “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the water, wherever you would call me.” Anytime I was alone that song was playing and I was ugly cry singing with everything I had. Since then I have been looking for something to give me strength in the ongoing journey with my grief and when I saw this necklace by @rightly.royce I knew that was it. I opened that little box and was right there again, alone in my car singing “Oceans” by Hillsong United. The memories are still dark for me but I can feel the light starting to filter back in.” 🌥

Featuring Isa Segoviano

2019-12-13T21:02:00-07:00

Isa has incredible perspective after she lost her son Mateo. Read her story here. 💙⁣
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At 32 weeks on June 28th, 2017 I gave birth to my stillborn son, Mateo. After a day of irregular movements to what used to be tons of kicking and limbs everywhere I decided to head to the hospital to get checked just to later hear the unimaginable words, “Sorry, there is no heartbeat.” My whole world came crashing down in that small ultrasound room. I was then confronted with the decision of birthing my son right then or head home and get myself ‘ready’—we decided to go home and gather a few basic belongings and we held each other as we were slowly digesting such heartbreaking news. Later that day we got to meet our beautiful son. He had his big brother’s chubby cheeks, my husband’s dark hair and my pouty lips. In retrospect, I could see this day as the saddest day of my life but how could I describe it like that when my heart was also bursting with so much love for him. Kissing him goodbye and leaving him behind is undoubtedly the hardest things I ever had to do but I would do it all over again just to get to hold him once again, to kiss his tiny hands, to give him a warm bath, to touch his soft cheeks, to dress him in his silky gown...⁣
What helped me the most after my loss is to connect with other moms who had endured the loss of a child. Although I knew I had a long road ahead of me, they showed me that happiness and hope were still in my horizon. My family was also a great support system. I especially thank my mom for coming to our house daily after my loss to help me around the house and simply being there. ⁣
A piece of advice to share with others would be to go at their own pace and grieve their own way. It will be painful but give yourself permission to just feel. ⁣
Some ways we remember Mateo is by speaking his name, we attend walks and memorials to honor him, we participate in different fundraising activities to raise awareness about stillbirth (@mighty.mateo_) and we speak about him to his brothers. A fellow loss mom once wrote, “Life is hard on this side of eternity” and that made me realize that I rather this eternity than to never had met him at all.

Featuring Brenda Bobo

2019-12-06T20:56:00-07:00

Brenda has been through a lot and recently her baby Elias was born sleeping. 💔 I love her advice and her strength. ⁣
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Hi I’m Brenda, I was born with a congenital heart disease and in 2012 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) my husband Chris and I have been married for 3.5 years and after many doctors appointments we finally got the okay to try to get pregnant. Knowing this will be a high risk pregnancy since day one we decided to try. January 21st, 2019 Chris and I found out we were pregnant. This was one of the happiest days of our lives!! Unfortunately right after we found out the gender of our baby we found out something wasn’t right. With my pregnancy being high risk every time we went to a doctors appointment I would have a sonogram and they noticed the placenta was enlarged. The doctors were hoping this would change with time but it didn’t. June 21st, Elias Bobo was born sleeping, our little baby boy went straight to heaven. Our world turned upside down knowing he wasn’t here with us, Elias was so prefect, his face, his little hands, his little feet.⁣
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The advice I would to give to anyone going through this, is to not stay quiet, talk to someone about it. Believe me your friends and family want to hear how your doing and will always be there to talk to you. If you are on the other side waiting to listen, please just listen to someone going through this all we want is for someone to be there and let us talk about our baby. ⁣
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We miss our baby boy so much especially with the holidays right around the corner. We can’t wait till the day we get to hold him in our arms again 👼🏼

Featuring Kayla Graver

2019-11-26T20:51:00-07:00

Since this week is Thanksgiving, we are going to be doing our feature today! Our feature this week is Kayla and her baby boy Weston who would have turned 1 tomorrow. We are so honored to feature them this week.♥️⁣
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Hi we are the Gravers. Logan and I have been married almost 5 years and have two perfect sons. Grayson who is 3 and Weston our angel boy who would turn 1 on November 27th. We found out at 20 weeks Weston had trisomy 18. We were told he wouldn’t survive to birth, if he did he wouldn’t survive birth, if he did that, he had a 5% chance of making it to his first birthday. We were devastated. We saw a specialist and had many scans and tests. Our goal was to find out as much as possible to get him to birth and beyond that. Things took a turn at 28 weeks. The placenta was not working like it should, it was now starting to have backflow in the chord, taking nutrients away from Weston. We were admitted to the hospital for him to be monitored. One week in the hospital the doctor told us that there was complete backflow of the chord and it was now dangerous.⁣
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We were given the option of letting him pass away in the womb or to induce with a small chance of meeting him. We prayed and prayed. We felt that we should induce. The next day we started induction. We were reminded over and over that he would most likely not make it through labor. He proved them wrong. He was born 10:40am a perfect 1lb 11 oz. He was alive and even kicked a few times for us. He opened his eyes looked right at me, closed them and then never opened them again. He passed in our arms at 2:08 pm. Even after one year we have really hard days and it feels so fresh still. We know he is always with us and we will see him again.⁣
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What helped is the support of family and friends. People reaching out and just letting us know that they remember him and are here for us. ⁣
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Advice I would give others is that it is okay to not be okay. Never be afraid to talk about your lost loved one. Let yourself feel and remember everything. Keep pushing forward but on those bad days let it out. Take your time grieving and don’t let others tell you how to grieve.

Featuring Toiresa Frazier

2019-11-22T20:45:00-07:00

A beautiful tribute from Toiresa ♥️ Meet Cash, 9 and his little half brother Grady, 7 ( just a week shy of 8). Life is best lived seeking adventures and on the weekends they were together, that is exactly what happened.

Cash was born with an amazing sense of direction and a passion for flying. He committed to memory many types of aircraft and the pilots that came into the airport where his granddad owns the fixed base operation. A perfectionist in his own right, he was meticulous with whatever job was at hand. His momma’s sidekick and official snow removal go to person. The instigator of arguments with sister Karrington, the one to appoint oldest sister Remi, official hair stylist “ the only one who knows what they’re doing with my hair”. About Grady by his mom, Brooke; Grady was a big animal lover, having dogs, cats, horses and a bunny he was often found loving on one. He was all about adventures in the mountains, in a plane, rafting or on a 4 wheeler. He loved soccer and was very good at it. Everyone in school or on his team could see how serious he was about it. Grady made friends easily and was known for being silly. You could hear his laugh from afar. Most of all, he was a very loving boy to his family, always offering a hug. Grady lived his life wide open, a real inspiration to all who watched him. From his mom’s side, he leaves behind two older brothers, Tanner and Trevin and a older sister, Courtney.

June 3, 2018 they were in a rafting accident with their dad. In a blink of a eye our lives changed. I offer this from experience, lean into God. This will be the hardest season, demanding much from you emotionally, spiritually and physically. You need Him and His peace that surpasses all understanding.
For me, keeping Cash’s room as it was, his artwork displayed, a toy plane in my purse keeps him close. I want to hear stories about him, I want to hear people say his name. Billy Graham once said, “ someday you will hear Billy Graham is dead. Don’t you believe a word of it. I shall be more alive than I am now. I will have just changed addresses. I will have gone into the presence of God”. I Love this promise.

Featuring Kelsey

2019-11-15T20:42:00-07:00

We are featuring Kelsey today who lost her beautiful boy Asher earlier this year.💔 Her story is so heartbreaking, and I’m so grateful to her for sharing Asher with us. ♥️ ⁣
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Hi! My name is Kelsey and I’m the momma to an angel, Asher Robert. When I was 20 weeks pregnant, our doctor saw a few concerns on my anatomy ultrasound. While we were initially counseled on the high probability of trisomy 13 or 18, an amniocentesis told us that whatever we were facing wasn’t a known genetic disease, and thus started our long journey into the unknown. ⁣
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On September 18, my beautiful baby boy was born and immediately whisked away to the NICU where he stayed for several weeks. There we got our initial diagnosis, neuronal migration disorder, and the explanation that his brain had developed very abnormally and we had no idea what the future would look like. This would eventually lead to intractable epilepsy, cortical blindness, respiratory & feeding issues and low muscle tone. ⁣
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Asher fought for every single day of his 21 months of life and God called him home on July 1, 2019.⁣
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Missing Asher never gets easier, but I try my best to continue to include him in everyday conversation. He will always be a part of me, the biggest and best part of me, and I don’t want the world to forget him, so I talk about him often. ⁣
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My best advice I can give is to just do whatever you need to in order to get through the day & do it unapologetically. Grief is really, really hard and it’s constantly changing. Lean on your people, cry, scream, run, stay in bed, book a spontaneous trip, go skydiving, adopt a puppy, whatever the hell is going to help you survive. Do it 💚

Featuring Kalee Crandall

2019-11-08T20:36:00-07:00

So honored to feature Kalee today. She is an incredible example and wrote the most beautiful song after she lost her son Crue ♥️⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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When my husband and I were married 13 years ago, the first thing we agreed on was we wanted a son and we wanted to name him Crue. Four years and one daughter later we were so excited to learn we were going to have the first grandson on both sides of the family. When he was born we both immediately felt like we’d known him for years. Though he was just a baby, Crue had a way of making everyone around him feel loved.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
On the morning of March 11, 2011, at almost 5 months old, I went to check on Crue because he had been sleeping longer than normal. When I found him, he was no longer breathing. My attempts, and later the hospital's attempts, to perform CPR were both unsuccessful. I left the hospital that day with nothing but a broken heart and hundreds of unanswered questions.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
It's been almost 9 years now since I said goodbye to Crue and looking back I’ve learned so much. I’ve learned growth doesn’t just come automatically as a result of our circumstances, it’s a choice that has to be made. When difficult times come, we all have to choose whether we learn from our trials or surrender to them. I’ve learned that asking questions is fundamental to learning, and learning is essential for growth. As Cecil O. Samuelson once said, “Real progress is almost always the result of asking the right questions.”⁣
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It’s taken me almost 9 years to find a way to keep the memory of Crue alive. I recently felt the urge to write lyrics to a song that I had my sister compose. Writing this song was not only a way to keep his memory alive, but was also extremely therapeutic. I would encourage anyone who has experienced loss to find some way to do the same- whether it be through blogging, music, poetry, art, writing, or creating beautiful jewelry (@rightly.royce). There is a certain element to healing when we can find a way to remember our loved ones and at the same time reach out and help others.⁣⁣

Featuring Teisha Walker

2019-11-01T20:30:00-06:00

Teisha is so strong and has been through so much. We are so honored to share some of her story today. 💙

Hi, I’m Teisha, a wife to an amazing man of 7 years and a mother to 6 beautiful children, 2 of which live in Heaven. We have lost two beautiful baby boys. Trighton passed in Utero at 18 weeks in 2017, and our sweet boy Tytan which we were able to have for 6 incredible months on earth. ⁣⁣
In 2013, At 34 weeks pregnant during a growth ultrasound we found out our first son would be born with a congenital heart defect called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, basically meaning he was missing the left side of his heart. Tytan was born April 20th, 2013 and brought with him the most beautiful & valiant spirit. He was immediately taken to PCH where he had his first open heart surgery at 5 days old. He spent the first 6 weeks there before coming home. We knew he would have a lot of medical attention throughout his life but we never imagined life without him. When he was almost 4 months old he went into cardiac arrest during another heart surgery and things took a turn for the very worst. We spent the next 2 months doing all we could to keep our sweet boy here with us. We found out his heart was failing and he was listed for a heart transplant but it didn’t come in time. On October 20th he finished his earthly mission & returned home to his Heavenly Parents. It was the hardest yet sweetest 6 months of our lives, & our tiny but mighty boy taught us so much about life in that short time! We have felt so much heartache, but have also witnessed So many miracles and tender mercies through this painful journey. ⁣⁣
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A loving family and supportive friends is a absolute must during the grieving process, but I think my religion & beliefs have helped me probably the very most. Tytan had many challenges during his short time on earth and spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital, so as much as I miss him and ache for him every single day it gives me peace to know he is okay now, free of all his earthly struggles, and the knowledge that I will see him again!

There is no timeline or a perfect way to grieve. Feel all the feels of the process over and over again. One day your sad, the next mad, and you’ll feel those feelings for many years to come. Don’t ever feel like you need to move on or let it go because it’s your child and they’ll forever be apart of you. - Keep your child’s memory alive. Don’t feel like because they aren’t here physically that you can’t include them. Celebrate their special days, hang an extra stocking for them, include their picture or something sentimental in your family pictures. They are still part of your family. - Just as you prepared to bring this baby/child into your family.... continue to prepare to see them again. Yes, the preparation is different but I know if we’re prepared we will see our children again.

Featuring Tia Hansen

2019-10-25T21:14:00-06:00

Today’s feature is an amazing mama, Tia and her sweet baby Brayton. She has great advice for everyone, and she is so strong. Here is her story.♥️⁣
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Hi👋🏻 I’m Tia. My husband Logan and I have been married 6 years. We have 3 children. Koven 5, Lydia 2 and sweet Brayton our angel babe.⁣
Back in March, our oldest had to get dental surgery. Not only was I nervous and worried for that, I was full term as well. That morning, I woke up early and started crying. Something did not feel right (I had laryngitis on top of it)⁣
My husband took our son to the procedure & I stayed home to rest and try to get over the illness before our scheduled due date, just 6 days away. ⁣
I thought that would be my biggest trial at the time.. ⁣
I tried resting but hadn’t felt the baby move. So, I got up and did all the tricks. Nothing. Even though I had an ultrasound less than 24 hours ago, I knew I needed to go in, but didn't want to go alone. Shortly after, my mom and mom-in-law arrived to help out with our boy’s post surgery. I knew it was time to go into the doctor for me now. When I checked into L&D, I immediately felt very eerie. The RN got me situated and began putting the heart rate monitor around my stomach. She was struggling. So, she grabbed the ultrasound machine and started feeling around. After what seemed like forever, she said, “I'm having a hard time, let me grab a doctor...” I immediately looked at my mother-in-law and began to worry. The doctor came in, started feeling around, then said those awful, devastating words that will forever haunt me. My perfectly healthy, full term baby, literally gone in a heartbeat💔⁣
Over the past 7 months we have felt so much pain yet so much love. We KNOW we will see our sweet baby Brayton again!⁣
Advice- To any mama’s: Your baby is still part of your life and should always be remembered.⁣
-You can set boundaries. Let others know what you need or DON’T need. ⁣
-You don't need to be strong all the time. Reflect & feel how you need/want to feel. ⁣
-Advice to others-TALK ABOUT THEIR BABY! We won't be alarmed if you bring up their name. Our babies are always on our minds and we love to talk about them. ⁣

Be present and empathetic. Don’t try to fix the situation. Send texts, cards, treats, etc. let them know they’re being thought of💙 it means more than you’ll know!

Featuring Mikell Hirschi

2019-10-18T20:20:00-06:00

We are featuring Mikell today and her beautiful baby girl Lola. Her loss is still pretty recent, and my heart aches for her and her family. This is their story.♥️ Tell us a little bit about you and Lola.⁣

-I have a 5 year old son, Mack, and Lola is my second baby. I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and felt GREAT! I went into labor naturally at 38 weeks and things were perfect and exciting. I was told that Lola was stressed during labor and was rushed to emergency delivery. Lola was born not breathing. Her medical teams were wonderful and did everything they could for her. Lola suffered extensive brain injury from lack of oxygen and was being kept alive with a ventilator. We made the decision to remove her breathing tube and she passed away 13 hours later.⁣
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What helped you the most after your loss?⁣
-100% the support of my husband. We also received SO MANY messages, gifts, prayers, people reaching out, acts of service. It really helped to lift our spirits and it meant so much for us to see what an amazing support system we had rallying around us!⁣
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-What advice would you give to others that lose someone? ⁣
Let others help you! Take your time grieving- there’s no time limit on how to process grief! It looks different for everyone and what do what feels right to you in your own process of figuring out your "new normal" it's quite the adjustment- be patient with yourself.⁣
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-What has helped you to remember Lola?⁣
We just buried Lola last month so it's still really fresh. We talk about her ALL THE TIME! She has filled our home with so much love and we love sharing her short story! We have pictures of her everywhere and we feel that she's just as much part of our family in heaven as she would be if she were here! We have found a tremendous amount of healing in our friends and family acknowledging her and talking about her. We have little orange bows that represent Lola and we wear them on our outings to remind us that she's close and part of our lives!

Featuring Kellie Thayer

2019-10-11T20:10:00-06:00

Kellie is a Barre instructor at @karvestudiolindon where I met her. We connected over the loss of our sons, and this is the story of her sweet son Riley.♥️⁣
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My name is Kellie Thayer, I've been married to my husband Kelly for 39 years! Yep, we have the same first name. ⁣
We have 5 children. 4 are married to amazing companions. We have 7 grandchildren, 2 more on the way. ⁣
On July 3, 2000 our family was given a trial that changed our world. ⁣
We lost our youngest child Riley to a drowning accident at our home in Provo Utah. ⁣
You hear about a child drowning but you never imagine it would ever happen to you. ⁣
But it happened and we were right there. ⁣
After he was rushed to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center by ambulance, Our Dr., who was our neighbor, Said to us ”we are life flighting Riley to Primary Children's Hospital to get a miracle”. They had done all they could. ⁣
There were many prayers offered on our behalf for Riley and our family. ⁣
Our neighbors gathered at our home for a fast while we were at Primary Children’s Hospital. The Dr.s and nurses at both hospitals were incredibly compassionate towards our family! ⁣
On July 6, 2000 in the early hours of the morning, 3 days after the accident, surrounded by family and a few close friends, we said goodbye to our angel son.⁣
For two hours, not a word was spoken as we took turns holding Riley. Beautiful, peaceful primary music was playing in the background. ⁣
We started with our youngest daughter and then each one of our children held their brother to love him and say goodbye. ⁣
Each person in the room had a moment with Riley. ⁣
Kelly and I held him last. We held him close to our face, then Kelly handed Riley to me, we both were holding him in our arms together. ⁣
For a moment Riley opened his eyes and looked at my husband then looked at me. It was our little miracle. ⁣
We felt his spirit leave this earthly life to return to our Heavenly Father. ⁣
This experience was beautiful and so spiritual! I will never forget this incredible tender mercy that our Heavenly Father gave to our family. In that moment the veil from this life to the next was very thin.

Featuring Madisan Dockendorf

2019-10-04T00:25:00-06:00

Madison is amazing and we are honored to feature her. Please take the time to read her story.♥️ My name is Madi Dockendorf and my husbands name is Mike. We have been married for 5 years and have gone through a lot in that short time together. In 2017 when our first son was 6 months old, we were at a well check visit when our pediatrician found a tumor inside our little guys abdomen. We later learned that he had a type of childhood cancer called neuroblastoma. We went through many hospital visits, scans and a major tumor removal surgery and after all that, our little guys strong tiny body fought back and thankfully he didn’t end up needing chemotherapy. We thought that would be the biggest trial of our lives until June 9th, 2019. I was pregnant with my second beautiful son Brooks David Dockendorf. I was 37 weeks and 5 days along when I noticed I hadn’t felt my little guy move that morning at all. My world came crashing down when I rushed to the hospital, only to hear the words “there’s no heartbeat.” I couldn’t believe that I would never get to raise my perfect little boy. That the child that I carried for 9 months was gone.
Although I’m still recovering and struggling often, I’m pushing on every day. I’m so grateful for my amazing family and friends who have carried me through it all. My Brooksie Boys theme is elephants and I’m so glad that every time I see an elephant, I can think of my angel. I hold on to my faith that I will get to see my little boy again, and that’s what helps me get through the hard days. I’m grateful for my amazing husband who is my rock, my little Bronson who’s spunk puts a smile on my face and my Brooks who made me a stronger, better person in his short 9 months on earth.
The advice that I would give is not towards the grieving mama but to her family and friends. 1. Please ask her about her baby. Help her know that you think he’s important and that you know he exists. 2. Don’t ask her what she needs. Just do. She feels lonely every single day and sometimes she just needs a friend. 3. Forgive her of her shortcomings. Most days, she’s just trying to survive. She puts on a happy face but she’s still grieving, so be patient.

Featuring Carissa Barzee & Kaylee

2019-09-27T00:22:00-06:00

The Amina Hope necklace has a special meaning behind it, and we wanted to share why. For our Feature Friday Carissa is sharing the story of her sister and her niece, Amina. ♥️⁣
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Hi there. My name is Carissa Barzee. My sister, Kaylee, has given me permission to share her story in hopes that it will help someone else through their heartache.⁣
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July 2015 - Kaylee was five months pregnant with her second daughter, Amina, and received some devastating news at one of her appointments. She wrote, “Our unborn baby may have a rare condition that has caused many health issues. If she survives she’ll most likely only live for a few days. We’re hoping to hear good news. We need your prayers. Our hearts are heavy and this feeing of pain is indescribable.”⁣
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Aug. 2015 - Amina was diagnosed with Full Trisomy 13. It’s a rare birth defect that has a 90% fatality rate. Our family was devasated.⁣
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The most important thing to Kaylee was whether or not Amina was in pain. She didn’t want her to suffer over the next few months of her life during this pregnancy. The doctors assured her that she was not. Kaylee kept this angel inside of her to grow as long as she needed knowing that she was going to pass away during the pregnancy or shortly after delivery.⁣
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Kaylee wrote, “I love feeling my beautiful Amina moving around. I’ve had a close bond with her since I found out I was pregnant.”⁣
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Oct. 26, 2015 - Amina stopped moving. Kaylee went to the doctor and found out that her little girl had passed away.⁣
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Oct. 27, 2015 - Amina was delivered stillborn.⁣
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She wrote, “Our beautiful angel didn’t suffer and went straight to God. She had a lot of hair, long eyelashes, and looked like her sister. I know it’s not the last time we will see our sweetheart. She’s by our side and I know my loved ones that already passed on were waiting for her with open arms.”⁣
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Oct. 30, 2015 - Kaylee wrote. “God is good. God will give you the strength you need to overcome any struggle or pain you are going through. When you are hurting, lean on your Heavenly Father and know you will get through it.”⁣

Featuring Jaclyn Anderson

2019-09-20T00:17:00-06:00

We are so honored to be featuring Jaclyn and her precious daughter Reagan today. Her faith is incredible, and I admire the strength she has shown amidst her tragic loss. ♥️⁣
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My name is Jaclyn Anderson, I am 36 years old and 3 years ago I lost my daughter Reagan in a drowning accident at the age of 3. She was my first daughter after having three boys! She was and is my light. She was my calm after the storm of three boys! Haha! After losing her, I felt really lost, like I was stuck in this fog with this heavy weight on me all of the time. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to carry on as a mother to my then 9, 8, and 5 year old boys and a 4 month old baby girl. I felt like a huge piece of my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I remember waking up so many nights hoping it was all a big nightmare and quickly realizing it was all very real and that this was now my new reality.⁣
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I had some really good friends and family that would come over and stay with me daily. My mom was a huge part of that as I knew she was also grieving. She took care of my family when I physically couldn’t. God though and Jesus Christ were and are my saving grace. I never went through an angry period where I was angry with them. I reached out with all my might in prayer asking for their help in giving me the strength to carry this burden that had been given to me. In all honesty, it was in those days that I felt this tangible relationship with them and with heaven. My heart was completely broken but at the same time, never had I felt as close to heaven as I did in those days following the accident. I prayed a lot, I would read lots of books and try to understand Reagans calling as well as mine. That’s what really helped.

The advice that I would give anyone that has had to endure a loss is don’t turn your back on God. He has not done this TO you, it may have nothing to do with you. Everyone has their own path and this was Reagan’s, I just happened to be her mom. God loves all of us so very much and He doesn’t want to see us in pain or despair. He is there with an outstretched hand, waiting for us to grab hold. I’d also say keep pictures up of your loved one, talk about them all the time, and find joy again. They would want that for you!

Featuring Jessica Morley

2019-09-13T00:14:00-06:00

We are so happy to be featuring Jessica today! Her words are so beautiful, and we are excited to share her story with you!

Our sweet angel Olivia was born still on February 19th, 2019. A few days before she was born, I noticed a difference in her movements. Being my first pregnancy, I didn’t really know what to expect, but the movements became more and more alarming as time went on. We went in for a stress test, and at 32 weeks they told us there was no longer a heart beat. The next few days were a total blur; the delivery, coming home without a baby, her funeral...it still doesn’t seem real. There are no answers as to why we lost her. I whole-heartedly believe she was just too perfect for Earth. I’ve relied a lot in my faith knowing that Olivia is free from harm. She will never be hurt. She is perfect and she is safe.⁣
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To others who have lost a loved one, take all the time you need to grieve. Your feelings are so valid. Even your craziest thoughts have been thought of by others in a similar situation. You have every right to feel everything you are feeling.⁣
It’s hard feeling like you’re the only one who remembers your child, so I love when others bring her up. Talking about her is very therapeutic; I love it! Sharing our story has connected me with so many others who have been in similar situations. I have gained lifelong friends through our experience. Although I would never wish this experience upon anybody, I’m grateful for our perfect little angel who has blessed our lives forever.

Featuring Toni Register

2019-09-06T00:09:00-06:00

Our Feature Friday today is Toni. Her story is heartbreaking, but her strength is inspiring. Check out her page for more amazing posts and to get to know her better!♥️⁣
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Hi my name is Toni Register. My husband Tommy and I have been married for 5 years this week. We are both originally from California and recently moved to Washington state. I work as a dental assistant and Tommy just got hired with PA fire department. We’ve had an interesting go at starting our family. In 2016 we suffered a tubal pregnancy and took a break from trying for awhile. ⁣
We found out we were pregnant with Ren in September of 2018 a day we’ve dreamed of. At 17 weeks we found out our baby boy would be born with Down syndrome. To be honest at first I was devastated thinking of the the struggles he might endure. But soon after we met so many wonderful mamas and people that gave us the greatest hope. We did a lot of homework and quickly became very ecstatic to bring such a special spirit into the world. We loved Ren even more than ever and couldn’t wait to show him off. His shower was a sight to see with the most amazing heart felt gifts and so many hand made treasures, you could truly see the love that was poured into them. Our nursery was definitely complete. Due to Ren having DS we were tested and checked often. On April 4th, 2019 we were having a routine stress test that I had twice a week and that’s where we found that Ren’s heart had stopped. The words no mother should ever have to hear, “I’m sorry there’s no heart beat”. Our entire world was shattered. I was induced immediately and our beautiful baby boy was born at 35 weeks gustation at 3:45pm on April 5th. He was perfect in every way. He had blonde curly hair and the cutest button for a nose. It’s hard to even put into words, it’s the truest devastation I’ve ever felt. We were able to keep him for the night but had to hand him off to a complete stranger the next day. He had a beautiful service where my husband gave the most amazing talk about God’s plan for us and trusting in him. We miss Ren every day. ⁣

First and foremost you are loved and you are not alone. You will make it even when you can’t see through even your darkest days. Something that literally changed my grief journey was reaching out to other mamas through social media that understood. I’ve found so many close friends this way and they get exactly how I feel and every emotion. If you haven’t reached out yet please do. Don’t take people that distance themselves personally. It’s not that they don’t care they just don’t know how to. Grief and happiness can coexist. It’s okay to feel fine one day and be a complete mess the next. Your feelings are 100% valid and no one gets to tell you where you should be in the grieving process. Give yourself grace and don’t be afraid to share your story you never know who it could help but more importantly it will help you heal. Speak their name and trust you are right where you’re supposed to be.

Featuring Ruth Muhlestein

2019-08-30T00:05:00-06:00

FEATURE FRIDAY! ⁣
Today we are featuring the incredible @ruthievon.⁣
She is such a light and inspiration, and we are excited for you to get to know her and her story. ♥️⁣
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Ansel was born Jan14, 2017 and he died Jan 16 2017. Ansel had a CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Disease. We found out around the 20 week point and proceeded to make plans for surgical intervention, but a month before he was born an echocardiogram showed us that his heart had worsened and become very dangerous to operate on. We were given the choice, but at that point we opted out of surgery and instead chose the palliative route. He was with us for 44 hours and passed away in our arms at home.⁣
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What helped you the most after your loss?⁣
Being with people who had been there with me, friends and family. My family was there with us in the delivery room, there in the room with us as he took his last breaths. The day we buried Ansel was also the birthday of one of my best friends. We celebrated his birthday later that night. Leaving the house felt odd, but I was with people that I love who love Kameron and me, and Ansel. It was liberating to be able to spend time and talk about everyday things without having to pretend like everything was ok. A solid support system is the best thing I can advise. Let people in, let people be there for you. Don’t isolate yourself, it’s hard enough to get through without doing it alone.⁣
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What advice would you give to others that lose someone?⁣
Don’t be afraid to talk about it. For so long I hesitated because I hated to make people uncomfortable, but it’s my life, and I’ve realized through sharing with strangers and acquaintances alike that there are are so many more people out there who’ve been through something similar. I feel strongly about being open about it now, you’d be surprised how many people around you have experienced that loss. You probably know someone, and the more awareness we have, the more empathy and love we’ll be able to give.⁣

Featuring Majerle Shannon

2019-08-23T00:02:00-06:00

We are so happy to be featuring Majerle today! Her strength is incredible, and her sweet Mayble is so beautiful. ♥️ ⁣
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I’m a stay at home mamma, a mother to 3 beautiful girls. Jayda, our 5 year old wild child. Mayble, our girly girl, who passed away just before her 4th birthday. Lennon, our 4 week old rainbow baby. ⁣
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My second child Mayble was diagnosed with a genetic disorder, Spinal Muscular Atrophy type 1 (a degenerative muscle disorder) at 2 months old. SMA took away her ability to swallow, crawl, sit, and walk. On May 16th 2019 we knew her fight was nearing. We were faced with the fact we needed to let her body rest. She passed peacefully on hospice surrounded by her entire family. I got to hold her in my arms until her last breath then spent some much needed momma time with her afterwards. Being a present mom to my other 2 girls with a missing piece has been an every day challenge. May taught us to live life to the fullest no matter what is thrown our way. Her memory inspires me to continue to fight hard and be brave. ⁣
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Something that helped me the most after her passing was all the help we had with her funeral. My husband and I didn’t have to do much, I’ll be forever grateful for that. ⁣
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My advice would be to take care of yourself. Be patient with your emotions. Let yourself cry when the tears come. Watch videos, look at pictures. Write down memories. Journal your feelings. How you feel is so important. ♥️♥️♥️

Featuring Lindsey Allen

2019-08-16T23:57:00-06:00

Today’s Feature Friday is @lins_allen ♥️ She has some amazing advice and a touching story. She is an incredible woman and example!

We are the Allens. We have 2 boys and an angel daughter. Like so many couples we have struggled to grow our family. We have experienced miscarriages, infertility & loss. After 3 miscarriages we decided to see a fertility Dr. It was then I found out I had PCOS, which explained our miscarriages. We did a few rounds of IUIs with no success. Next step: IVF. That process is overwhelming, but you do it in the hopes of having a baby. 2 wks after the transfer is test day. I thought of our losses & the ultrasounds that ended with, “Your baby no longer has a heart beat. I’m so sorry”. I had gotten use to saying, “It’s okay, we’ll keep trying”. Infertility is a hard, bitter pill to swallow! BUT we got good news, baby girl Allen was going to join our family.⁣
At our 6 month appt, the tech was quiet. I thought, “We did genetic testing, she’s okay”. The Dr came in. With 1 swipe over my belly, he looked up & said the same sentence I had heard 3 times already. With tears running down my cheeks, I quietly said, “It’s okay, we’ll keep trying”. She passed away due to her umbilical cord getting twisted. ⁣
On Aug. 5, 2017 I delivered our angel daughter. It was the hardest day, but also the most spiritual. I was so proud to be her mom. To play a roll in her receiving her perfect, tiny body. We named her Skyelar & told our son that anytime he got sad or felt alone, he could look up to the sky & know she is watching over us. She is flying among the stars & will always be our Skye. I can’t wait to hear her stories when we meet again!⁣
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Advice:⁣
-The 1st yr I wanted to remember her in a special way. Every month I left a balloon that represented the sky at her resting place. Each month the bouquet of balloons grew. Instead of a monthly “watch my baby grow” it became a “watch the sky grow for our Skye”. The cemetery became a place of love & healing. ⁣
-Skyelar was buried with a little lamb. We each have one & call it our Skyelar lamb. We take family photos with it to represent her.

Tell your story. You will make healing connections.⁣
-Don’t let anger replace love. Joy & grief is a sacred dance. ⁣
-Make a yearly motto (trust, love, hope) & focus on how that can help you heal. ⁣
-Celebrate the little victories!⁣
-Never give up! 6 months later we did IVF again & welcomed our son. ⁣
Our story is filled with ups & downs, loss & love. We wish Skye was here, but we know she is watching over us. She has filled our home with love. Im thankful for our family story ❤️⁣

Featuring Jasmine Martin

2019-08-09T23:52:00-06:00

Today we are so exited to feature Jasmine! We have delivered flowers to her sweet son’s headstone a couple of times, and she is such an amazing person. Get to know her and read her story below!♥️⁣
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About:⁣
I am a former elementary school teacher turned stay-at-home mom. We have one son, Chase, who would be 3 and a daughter, Oaklyn, who just turned one. ⁣
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When Chase was born he had a hard time breathing and spent a few days in the NICU. His breathing got better on his own and we were sent home with a healthy baby. When he was about 6 weeks old, he stopped breathing several times while in his car seat. We called 911, had a short hospital visit, a pediatrician visit and ultimately ended up at Primary Children’s Hospital. After days and days of tests he was diagnosed with a double aortic arch vascular ring. Basically, his aorta split in 2 and wrapped around his trachea and esophagus making it extremely difficult for him to breathe. Surgery was performed a few days later and was a success. We spent a little longer at the hospital and were eventually sent home with Chase to recover. Everything was going great until suddenly it wasn’t. About a week after we got home we woke up to feed Chase in the middle of the night and something wasn’t right. While we were on the phone with 911, Chase stopped breathing again. I began performing CPR until a police officer arrived and took over. It was chaos in our home after that and it all seems like a blur, yet I can remember every detail. We were transported to the nearest hospital where they tried unsuccessfully to revive him. We still don’t know exactly what happened and every doctor that saw him during our stay at Primary Children’s Hospital was baffled. ⁣
We believe that he wanted a family and needed a body in order to progress. Despite the heartache, we are still so grateful he chose us to be his parents. He was 2 months and 6 days old when he returned to our Heavenly Father. ⁣
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Advice:
Don’t go through it alone. Reach out to family and friends. Find others to connect with who have experienced similar loss. Talk to people about the person you lost and how you are feeling.

A lot of times after we lost Chase it would be hard for me to talk about him without crying. It took me a while to realize that it’s okay to cry! Of course, I’m sad and I miss my baby—no wonder I would often end up in tears. I used to feel like if I cried I would make others feel uncomfortable but now I realize how important it is to feel all of the emotions fully while you are grieving. Keeping them bottled up just makes things worse. Allow yourself to feel and grieve in whatever whatever way you see fit. Grief isn’t one size fits all and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of how it works for you. Just make sure you allow it to happen.

Featuring Avery Mitchell

2019-08-02T23:46:00-06:00

This week we are featuring Avery and her baby boy Maverick! We heard about Avery last year when her sister reached out to us and asked if we could make a necklace for Avery and ever since then we have been following this amazing woman! We are honored to share her heartbreaking but encouraging words with you. 💙⁣
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•About Avery ⁣
My name is Avery and I am a mother to two beautiful babies. My angel baby Maverick who would be two, and my amazing baby girl Gentry who will be one in November and who has been my life saver.⁣
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Maverick was our first child who was born on March 25, 2017. We struggled to get pregnant with him and when I found out I was expecting I remember how ecstatic I was! I was finally getting my baby! ⁣
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On November 23,2018, 5 days before I was due with my second child, we unexpectedly loss Maverick due to a brain bleed. This kid was my life, how was I ever going to live without him, yet alone how was I suppose to have another baby while mourning his loss.⁣
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What helped me the most after my loss was my family and friends and the constant love and support that was shown to us and still is. Having Gentry to go home to every day is a blessing that I will never take for granted. ⁣
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•Advice to others ⁣
Advice I would give to other is it's okay to be mad and angry. Its okay to cry and scream when you need too. Let yourself grieve. Lean on others. Talk about them daily. Live for the tender mercies. I experience tender mercies every day from Mavys and that helps me to know how close my baby really is. I feel him daily. It's okay to feel joy and peace and to be happy again. There are times I feel guilty for being happy but I have to remember that Maverick wouldn't want me to be anything but happy as he was the happiest boy! I've also learned that everyone is fighting some kind of battle that no one knows nothing about so always be kind. Always say I love you to those you love because life is so short you never know what tomorrow holds ❤️

Featuring Kiera Ward

2019-07-26T23:43:00-06:00

This weeks Feature Friday is someone who we love so much! Kiera is a family member and we adore her. Her outlook resonates so much with me and we are so excited to share her story! ⁣
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•About Kiera⁣
I’m Kiera and I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mom! Growing up my nickname was “mama Kia” because I was always- okay, I still am- the boss and the second mama to my brothers. I knew from a very young age that it would be hard for me to have children because I suffer with severe endometriosis. It never occurred to me the headache, heartbreak and learning curve that would come from that until I married the man of my dreams in 2015. We went through surgery’s, medications, shots, hormones, more surgeries, 3 miscarriages and 3 D&Cs before being blessed with the sweetest little blessing Saylor Rae! ⁣
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•What helped Kiera the most⁣
Writing. This may sound silly but after our first miscarriage I started a blog. It was somewhere I could get my pure feelings out and I knew I wouldn’t be judged (at least to my face). It was the most raw and real thing I’ve ever done. I was so vulnerable but it felt so good to get my tears and literal heartbreak out on paper. It helped me connect with others who were dealing with the same thing. It helped me realize that I wasn’t alone. It helped me help others by sharing my experience. It’s something that I will always be able to have, look back on and show to Saylor and my future kids how hard I work(ed) to get them here! ⁣
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•Advice⁣ to others
It was hard for me to see that every single person around me kept moving on with their life after a failed round of treatments, after a miscarriage, or even after a milestone of what “could have been”. Yes people cared, yes people prayed and asked what they could do but after a day or two, I felt left in the dust to struggle. Feel your feelings. Do not bottle them up. The grieving process is real and can take weeks, months, years. I don’t believe that time heals all wounds but I believe that time helps all wounds. It’s okay to not be okay! ⁣

Featuring Angelie

2019-07-19T23:40:00-06:00

Angelie is so incredible and her perspective is so comforting. We are honored to share Ian with you today! ⁣⁣
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Hi, I'm Angelie. 10 years ago I married a dutchman and have lived in the Netherlands since. I am a mother of 3 boys. Ian in heaven, Lars running around and our 3rd due in Sept.⁣⁣
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Last March my sweet Ian was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor. He had barely turned 4. After brain surgery and months of intense treatment the cancer became resistant and he passed away Nov 24, 2018. ⁣⁣
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Through it all, my faith gave me strength and perspective and still does. In the sacred and sorrowful experiences I have had in this entire experience I confidently say that our beloved angels stay near us and are very much involved in our lives. This confidence doesn't necessarily take away the pain I feel in missing Ian's physical presence in my life, but it helps me live with the new form our relationship has taken. When I quiet my mind I think of my happy boy, his beautiful personality and the love we share. In doing so I can feel his nearness. It's like when someone you know walks into the room and you know exactly who it is without even looking because you just feel them. I just know it's my Ian I feel in those moments because I know my child and the way his love feels. ⁣⁣
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I hesitate to give advice to anyone grieving the loss of a child because it's such a personal journey, but these are some of the things that have been helpful to me. First, feel all that there is to feel and connect with others who know how you feel. Though I wish nobody had to experience child-loss, I know that I am not the only one. That helps put my life experience into a broader perspective and helps me look beyond myself.⁣⁣
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Find ways to celebrate memories and do little things that remind you of them. If you are open to it, from time to time they will let you feel or see how they are still with you. Cherish the happy memories. Looking at pictures/videos of good times with my son carries mixed feelings of joy for the memory, and deep sorrow because I miss him, but I love and am so grateful for the time we had together. ⁣

Lastly, don't try to fit yourself into a specific grief process or put a timeline on feeling 'normal' again. Life will never be the same again, and that's ok. So much love to all of you.⁣ 💙

Featuring Jamie Michelle

2019-06-28T23:33:00-06:00

We are so excited to feature Jamie ♥️ After we lost Royce, Jamie was so fast to reach out and send love, support and even advice. We admire her so much! ⁣⁣⁣⁣
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My name is Jamie and I am a mom to two beautiful children. One baby boy named Silas who is currently growing away in my belly, and one beautiful little girl named Isla Michelle who would be 2 years old this year. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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⁣⁣Isla was our first child. She was born August 24, 2017. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with her I was beyond ec I cried with tears of joy that I finally was getting the chance to be a mother. I had a fairly easy pregnancy, no crazy complications, and Isla was healthy. I had her at 38 weeks 2 days. I went in for decreased movement and 4 hours later I was rushed back for an emergency c-section only to wake up to find out my baby girl was gone forever with no explanation other than she just didn’t make it. I was absolutely devastated.⁣
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What helped me the most right after losing Isla was my friends and my family, but also connecting with other loss moms. Knowing I wasn’t the only mother in this world who lost their baby and knowing I wasn’t alone. When you lose a child you feel SO lost and SO alone, and it feels like the whole world is crashing down on you. So finding my group of loss moms brought a bit of clarity to my life and reminded me I will never be alone and I will always have someone to relate to.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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My advice for someone after losing a child.. cry, be angry, vent, TALK ABOUT THEM. It’s okay to be upset at the world. Do not ever be scared to talk about your child who has passed away. It has been almost two years and I STILL cry for my daughter and ache for her to be in my arms. It DOES get easier, but the sadness is always there. You’ll always think about them and miss them and that is OKAY. Do not ever let anyone tell you different. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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We miss our little girl every single day. She is the⁣⁣ reason I am a mother today and is forever in our hearts. I will never stop talking about her as I hope that I am able to tell the world how amazing she truly was. ♥️♥️♥️

Featuring Danelle

2019-06-14T23:31:00-06:00

This week we are featuring Danelle ♥️ we have been following Danelle’s page for sometime now and have always been amazed with her resilience in the face of so much heartache. There is so much hope and love in her words and we are grateful to share her story today with you! ♥️
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•About Danelle⁣
My name is Danelle and I'm the writer of We Call It A Journey. After years of struggling with infertility, and a recent failed adoption, I have come to learn that we are all connected through heartache in this human experience. It's been breathtaking and beautiful to watch as women have lifted eachother by sharing their own stories with empathy and compassion.⁣
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•What has helped Danelle the most ⁣
Through our journey of heartache, I have found the pain of suffering in silence. I've learned that Isolation only makes things worse. Being able to share my story has been incredibly healing. I have also relied heavily on my faith in God. I know He is shaping me into the person he wants me to be and He is always there to pick up my broken pieces.⁣
When hard days come, I like to find quiet moments where I can focus on my heartbeat. "It's still beating" I tell myself. "I know you didn't think it could beat after feeling this much pain, but it's still beating! You're still breathing. You are stronger than you think."⁣
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•Advice to others⁣
The biggest lesson I have learned through our experience is that we can't rank trials from easy to hard. Hard is hard and pain is pain. We are all doing the best we can. Once we own our story, and honor our heartache with self love and compassion, that's when we can really start to mend the brokenness.⁣
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After our adoption fell through, we wanted to come back more determined than ever! Although we have our moments of sorrow, we have found gratitude through it all. We are looking forward to growing our forever family!⁣
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Life is crazy, messy, and full of twists and turns but I guess that's why, We Call it a Journey!⁣

Featuring Alexes Brown

2019-06-07T23:26:00-06:00

This week we are honored to feature Alexes and her sweet daughter Boston. I always learn so much from all these amazing mamas and this one was no different. She is just amazing and her words resonated with me so much. ⁣⁣♥️
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•About Alexes and Boston ⁣⁣
My name is Alexes Brown and I’m a mama to four, three on earth and one in heaven. Boston was my magical third child, she was always (no exaggeration) happy and super calm and mellow. She was such a joy to have in our family and she had a special light about her that even people in public noticed. She was dearly loved by everyone in our family and was just what our family needed when she came into our lives. On May 22, 2016 our lives changed forever when our sweet baby died in a back over accident while we were on vacation in Idaho. Because we were temporarily living in Alaska at the time, we decided to bury her in Idaho where some of our family lived. We spent the next year living in Alaska until we were finally able to move to Idaho to be near our baby. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣
•What helped Alexes the most after her loss
The thing that helped me the most after Boston’s passing was connecting with other loss moms. There’s only so much advice someone can give when they haven’t been through losing a child. Talking with other moms who knew exactly what I was going through gave me a kind of comfort my heart was seeking. The day after Boston died, I reached out to fellow loss mom @heidiswapp and she shared some words that would change my life. She told me that I had to make a decision. I could let this tragic thing ruin my life or I could choose to let it make me stronger. These words have reminded me time and time again that I really do have a choice and that it can make me a more compassionate, loving, stronger person if I let it. When you lose a child you are thrust into a pain so deep and all consuming that it threatens to consume you whole, but in time there will be light and IF you look for it you will see beauty. ⁣⁣

Featuring Stefanie

2019-05-24T23:22:00-06:00

We are so excited to feature Stefanie this week and her precious son Brody. She is so amazing and strong, and her page has inspired me so much that we just had to have her share her story with you! ♥️⁣⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Hi, I'm Stefanie and I've always been a girl with a plan! I knew I would get a Master’s Degree, get married and have 4 kids. Everything was going according to plan until our fourth child, and first boy, was born with a terminal genetic condition. Our son Brody packed a lifetime of lessons for us into his ten short months on earth. When he passed away October 2016 we believed he had given us everything he could to keep us learning and progressing into the best versions of ourselves.⁣⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Brody’s life represented simplicity. He couldn’t move or even eat on his own. By remembering to embrace simplicity in our lives we have continued on a path of healing. We filled our tanks with gratitude and love and tried to share those things with others using his memory and random acts of kindness. We stripped away all unnecessary worries from our lives and embraced the grief however and whenever it came. When we were ready, we matched grief by achieving goals and becoming empowered to use the waves of grief as stepping stones to deeper Eternal understanding, peace and joy. Feel your grief. Acknowledge it and let it make something better out of you. Find a release, or a series of releases to try when different waves of emotion hit. For me it was things like writing, walking, serving, and celebrating small victories over hard moments. Understand that it’s ok to not be ok and it’s ok to be ok! Embrace your feelings, let them guide you to healing. Trust a messy, unpredictable process with as much patience as you can muster. Find something to believe in. I have hope in a Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ and because I KNOW they want me to live with joy and see Brody again, it reminds me I am meant to be happy in this life. ♥️

Featuring Devinee McLain

2019-05-17T23:17:00-06:00

This week we are honored to feature Devinee and her perfect boy Lincoln. While preparing for this feature and communicating with Devinee I instantly noticed that she had such a gift of taking the very complicated emotions of losing a child and putting it into words. I hope you are inspired by this as much as I was. ♥️⁣
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•About Devinee and Lincoln⁣
I’m Devinee and this is my most precious little guy, Lincoln. ⁣
Lincoln is mine and Austin’s first, and only baby. During pregnancy, little dude was just a happy little camper, but at 38 weeks, we found out he had a heart defect. Three days after he was born, he was taken for open heart surgery to fix the defect, but Lincoln had other plans. Complications with surgery=complications with his little body. Lincoln fought a long and hard battle, and at 12 days old on November 14, 2018, he returned to his Father in Heaven. ⁣
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•What Helped Devinee the most after her loss⁣
Life was instantly different. I quickly learned that just because I lost my baby, didn’t mean I needed to lose myself as well. The thing that helped me was to allow myself to attend my own pitty party and mourn, then pick myself back up and carry on—until the next pitty party, at least. ⁣
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•Advice Devinee would give to others ⁣
My biggest peace of advice is: There is no guide for what to do after you lose someone. Everyone is so different, and that’s ok. You’ve got to figure out what helps you and makes you feel better and then DO THAT! And chances are, something that helps one day, might not help the next. This is a new life, and it’s YOUR life, so you’ve gotta take back control. ⁣
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•How Devinee Remembers Lincoln⁣
My Lincoln is everywhere. He’s in the ‘Lincoln’ cars in front of me, the pennies on the ground, the hiccups I get, and the songs that once had no meaning. Don’t get me wrong. I still sob in my car at least twice a day. I’ve broken several things, his nursery still isn’t cleaned out, and I still don’t understand ‘why’ this is my life—but it is. So I might as well live the life I wished Lincoln could have. ⁣